You have left the domain of the
illustrious line and have entered the
fabulous province of the dot, where
you will be invited, among other
things, to stroll along the parabola of
the point to learn of its manifest
contributions to the space time
continuum, the Wharfian Hypothesis,
and other matters best left unspecific
at the moment. We begin the tour
with a presentation of the stages of
development in the creation of a dot
painting, or in the parlance of the
astronomer, the formation of a super
Archive of the Dot: Memorabilia of The Venerable Master: Odd Jim Dotty
The restored "Personified Wind Codex or Wind Theory of Xum-far-t"
Try to imagine the number of dots you would have to apply
individually just in order to create the images you see here...
Hour after hour, day after day, week after week....
Inexorably, over the mat black background, the micro-cosmic juggernaut is assembled bit by tiny bit...
Now so achingly close to the finish line...of dots...
Genesis of the Dot;
In the beginning (and for a vast
period of time thereafter), there was
but one dot which floated upon the
divine waters of Xibalba. Then the
wind god Xum-far-t cast his inspired
gases upon that dot causing it to split
in two in an everlasting chain of
multiplication. Thus it was that the
dot became the basis of everyone and
every thing, and there was nothing
that anyone could do about it...
As the multiplicity of dots spread far and wide, The Wind God of Xibalba, Xum-far-t, saw that it was good, and
thus he commanded the dots to form all manner of fishes to spawn in the inky depths of the Divine Waters...
And, eventually, it was so...
But, Xum-far-t was not satisfied, because a constant
diet of fish was affecting his powerful gases in a
manner not altogether pleasing. Finally, from a bump
on his noggin 'Spirit Owl' hatched forth to suggest an
alternative course of action. Why not command the
dots to make some people? Maybe they might be good
to eat...So Xum-far-t commanded that it shall be so,
and that was somewhat good but also somewhat bad.
First, Xum-far-t attempted to fashion a woman from a stick, but
that did not work out...because things got way to sticky to suit
Obviously, what he needed was a better plan, so he began to
But nothing seemed to quite live up to its vaunted potential...
In fact, to tell the truth, everything seemed to be getting worse rather
than better, if you know what I mean...
Finally, Xum-far-t hit upon a pattern he felt he could live with; I mean, at least for a while.
And now that he had the rough idea, he commanded all the dits and dots to make it grow...
Next Xum-far-t would bring forth a man,
perhaps even somewhat in his own image...
Then, again, maybe a man should be more
like a bird?
'Cause then men could be grown in an egg...an
idea which seemed to have some distinct
Finally, however, Xum-far-t hit upon the perfect plan, for the perfect man, although
he still needed to come up with a body...
Naturally, Xum-far-t tried many
different and exciting models, some
even based on toads and gases...
Eventually, however, he struck pay dirt with two rather humble, conventional models.
Of course, he had to dress them up a little, to cover the pimples and blotches...
Next came the hard part, for Xum-far-t was now confronted with the task of designing an
entire world, and all the myriad forms it must sustain. Clearly, his dots were faced with a
monumental challenge. To begin, Spirit Owl was commanded to introduce the first man to
certain deities of the underworld in order to acquire those crafts necessary to his survival.
Unfortunately, the first
man in the Labyrinthine
Bowels of Augury was a
pitiful creature, slow to
learn, and stubbornly
indifferent to the marvels
of modern technology.
Nevertheless, under the
tutelage of the twin
deities Blue Didy Snare
Woman and The Talons
of the Avenging Hawk, the
dotty man eventually
began to acquire the use
of fire, as well as a
primitive understanding of
the needs of women, and
the ability to carve in
order to shape his
In his spare time (on the
potty walls), first man
even began to experiment
with paint ...which he
scraped up off the floor of
First man's early paintings were typically dot patterns or smears of this and that upon that
cave wall, but eventually, he began to try and depict animals like turtles, fish and even
Nevertheless, he did seem to be inordinately preoccupied
with smears, especially smears of orifices or eyes and
strangely contorted shapes...
Sometimes he even repeated his smears, apparently
thinking he was improving upon the process...
As his palette of colors improved, he began to explore even more bizarre shapes, forms, splotches and smears, until a riot of
colors merged with the uneven walls of the cave. For some reason, as you can plainly see below, abstract designs were
particularly interesting to first man, perhaps because he was struggling desperately to understand the cosmos...
His renderings off the Gods were typically filled with dread and
awe, formed by a psyche where Gods, Demons, and gigantic
predatory fish prowled in the depths of his dreams...
where monstrous and foreboding shapes loomed above his first
notions of the puniness of the men...
What did it mean? Why was he here, the victim of every whim of the Gods? Had he emerged
from the cosmic egg only to be the plaything of a divinity he would never comprehend?
Thus arose Filth Eater, the God who cannibalized on the bodies of
men...for surely the elimination of filth was a manifestation of the divine
will for the destiny of mankind...
The Birthing of Spirit Owl...
Then The God of Filth bred with the Fish Goddess Choc-Xum-chal-mool to
begat the Demons of the Underworld, who boiled the souls of men in a
perpetual broth of destruction, death and creation...
How that broth bubbled, burbled and boiled over across the days and the
ages of men, as their dotted destiny was repeated and repented over and
over and over...and over...and over...
while Great Kingdoms arose and fell in the savage swirl of time...
for the same reasons, over and over and over
Sometimes there were New Gods who came to rule for a spell in
the vastness of time and space, but that changed nothing...nothing
Eventually, rule by theft, lies, murder and religion gave way to rule by
wealth, theft, lies, murder and religion, but that made little difference as
the monkey people fought the pig people with weapons supplied by the
vulture capitalists who had gained control of the spoils of the earth...
Finally, it came to pass that almost nobody any longer understood anything or cared much
about anything (except money) while believing they knew everything worth knowing. And
the evolution of religion from Xibalba to present day Christianity was complete...
First smear painting on the wall of the potty cave...
Museum Curator's note: Little known
excavations conducted over the past
two years in the Van Nuys Region of
Southern California, in a vast cave
complex known as The Bowels of
Augury, have uncovered the following
astonishing array of truly remarkable
cave paintings thought to have been
created by Austrodotticus Americanus,
a tribe closely related to the Van
Oozian Tree Huggers, known for the
early domestication of plants and
animals sometime around 9000 b.c.
The artwork exhibited here is thought
to be arranged in the order in which it
was created, as if the cave dwellers
were attempting to convey a story...
Post-Freudian Anatomy of The Current Religious Debate